The more immediate crises I have, at least in the last couple years or so, the more I tend to sort of focus on the present, mainly because it's all I can do just to keep myself together, and I don't have energy left to think about the past or future (beyond the next day or week). It's what I call "being in survival mode". So that's where I am right now and until things change / settle down again, I'm not going to be able to focus on delving into my past.
I don't know what mom thought when I told her I'd been in e.r. I didn't call anyone in the family while in the crisis because I don't consider myself as having any emergency contacts any more. Her response was that she thought she should call me more.
Anyway, yesterday was indeed a very busy day, and somehow I managed to do everything I needed to, except I didn't get one of the detailed billing statements I'd hoped to get for August. I ended out figuring that I didn't have time after the blood work to come home and be back for my first appointment, so I made a breakfast sandwich to eat with my pills. I also packed a travel mug of hot coffee, but I hadn't used it in a long time and I guess it had somehow developed a leak, so I had to deal with that mess. Then I bought a cup of coffee later and I guess I didn't put the lid on well and it spilled when I was trying to drink it. Later in the day I must have forgotten to push down the knob on the top of my metal water bottle and it spilled in my bag too. So it was not a good day in the drink / spill department yesterday. That's what happens though when you're not feeling well, tired, and pushing yourself - you do a lot of dumb things. I don't think I'm the only one like that, so you might understand what I mean.
The first appointment should never have happened and the doctor even asked the registration people to cancel it so I wouldn't have to pay the co-pay. That was really nice of her. That was the infectious disease doctor, but I'm, thankfully, over the virus, so I didn't need to see her, but I forgot to cancel and when I got the reminder call about the appointment I figured I should at least go to it rather than be a no-show.
The other appointment was the neurologist, and he did find that I had some weakness when he tested me. He also referred me to a rheumatologist, actually the one I already go to for fibromyalgia, but I made an appointment for next week with him because of the new symptoms. He ordered more blood tests, too, and I was able to make it to LabCorp before they closed. I'd already been there earlier in the morning (for the fasting tests), so I didn't have to fill out all their paperwork again. Then I returned to the neurologist's to finish the discharge process and noticed that I had a third bruise, and I'd never been so prone to bruises before. It seems that they're appearing in all the spots where I've been pricked, including from last week's e.r. visit. So then I decided I wanted someone to check it out, and so I made an appointment with the primary care doctor again today and he agreed that it was a little unusual and worth noting.
I'm beginning to think that besides the allergy thing, there may also be lupus, which I imagine might be why the neurologist wants me to see the rheumatologist and why the dermatologist ordered the ANA test. In checking on line there are a few symptoms that could match lupus. The bruising is actually one of those symptoms, but another is hair loss, and not long ago I had requested my thyroid be checked (I had active Grave's until spring '07), but it came back normal. But hair loss and also weight loss (which I've also had recently) could also be lupus symptoms. I guess we'll see what the blood tests show.
Anyway, it might seem strange but yesterday after pushing myself to get everything done I was wiped out, but more in a mentally tired way than just physically, so when I got home I didn't really want to sit inside so I weeded grass from my neighbor's garden. It was a cool evening and it felt good to do that.
Today I had the one doctor's appointment and then worked a bit on bills, went grocery shopping and finally made the sweet potato salad. I had to go grocery shopping because I think I forgot I need the pepper for this recipe and used the original one I'd bought for something else. I did get to use my basil and chives in the salad though, which was nice.
When I was out grocery shopping I couldn't find the sour cherries I needed for the cake balls, although I did find frozen bing cherries and canned sweet cherries in heavy syrup. Both of those were on the expensive side, so I couldn't really justify spending that kind of money, so I'm going instead for chocolate-plum cake balls. That means I'll be adapting the recipes for the cake and filling accordingly.
My face is still puffy and feels tingly. You can have that tingly feeling with fibromyalgia too, and I found that folic acid helped it. Maybe I should try increasing my folic acid... Anyway, whenever I have the tingling in the face it tends to make me more tired. I don't know why, but it does. I need to exercise some more for my fibromyalgia, so I guess I'll go for a walk now.
~ Meg
