416. Military Chaplaincy, Pt. 34 (Bickley & G'Segner, pt. 1)

This next article is going to be a less involved one.  Some of these in this file, when they get into a lot of theology or philosophy or emotionally-loaded (for me at least) subject area can take a lot of time and I can't deal with that today.  And I have to spread those out a bit because it does take a bit out of me to do those sometimes.  It's almost like reliving a bit of what happened when I was with the mission, especially when I hit upon someting that really validates my experience.

And then I realized this morning that I forgot that needed to portion out my meds and supplements for the week, so I'm scrambling to get that done now on top of the other things I had planned.  Yesterday got a bit messed up by unplanned things, which happens.

So this articles is:

Bickley, Hugh J. & G'Segner, Ford F. (1975, Fall). Games and values clarification: aids in human self-development. Military Chaplains' Review, 43-51.

 ***

"Throughout the last three decades chaplaincy has given serious attention to human self-development.  Though given different names -- Character Guidance, Our Moral Heritage, and the Human Self-De velopment Program -- the intent has been to involve soldiers in a process of moral and ethical self-development." (p. 43)

I just hope that it was a better program of self-development than what the Vienna mission had.  Since the Vienna mission was a total institutions and my experience of it, as explained elsewhere throughout this blog, was not totally unlike how Christians experienced their treatment at the hands of Communists, I'd like to suggest what it might have been like under the Vienna mission total institution:

"The lack of individual responsibility is a product of decades of living under limited freedom. People get used to oppression. This has always happened with totalitarian regimes. I remember, I was greatly surprised to meet people with a similar mentality in East Germany, a country that has always been very different from Russia. This happened during the unification of the East and West Germany. I saw fright in the eyes of the East Germans, the same reaction as I see here in Russia – people do not know what to do. There is a psychological term for this – the acquired helplessness syndrome. The syndrome is usually manifested in social pessimism and lack of self-confidence. The acquired helplessness syndrome is the main feature of Soviet mentality and unfortunately it is prevalent among senior citizens."

This describes the acquired helplessness syndrome of the "Soviet man".  And lest you think I'm over-exaggerating, just remember that the whole time I was with the mission they continually took away one by one a whole chunk of my external supports and relations until I was more and more cornered in and reliant on them... helpless, if you please.

Fortunately for me, however, I had an easier way out than the hapless Soviet citizens and my commitment to the mission was limited to 2 years of my life so that there remained a remnant of my former self that wasn't helpless and I did retain some external connections that helped me buoy above the tragedy and find a way to rise again.  But I could very easily have vanished only to have never been heard of again... a mere shell of my former self, broken by the mission and it's treatment of me.  And no one would have ever believed me that it was their fault at all; they would have assumed I was just emotionally weak.

Actually, though, I think the opposite is true and it was amazing that I was able to do what I did because no one ever was able to do what I did, and that alone is testament enough to the strength of my character.  Everyone else was to weak or scared or didn't have enough knowledge early on, which is when it would have been needed, to even attempt what I did.  So, yes, on one level I was weak, but on another level I was incredibly strong and clever and did what no one else was able to do.

***

"Educational journals, management magazines, adult education reports, continuing education briefs, sociological and psychological articls, and religious writings and books tell us that contemporary persons share the following characteristis.  They (we) are non-authoritarian, dialogical, interdependent, and participative. (p. 44)

Did I tell you that I have an M.A. in Adult Education and 60 credits towards a doctorate in the same and that I've published articles and given numerous conference presentations on adult education related subjects? So I'm sort of in my league here.

The thing is that the Vienna mission knew this stuff as far as how it taught its classes in Eastern Europe; it just sort of forgot it all it seems to me when it came to socialization of new members.  Oh sure, the mentoring process was on the surface like this, but in the end it was not because the mission was a total institution and it was not about dialogue with its members, at least not according to my experience.  Dialogue was not an option.  The only thing it wanted was obedience and childlike submission, like for the Soviet man above.  And better not to ask any questions, of course, because of the security issue.  Security could be an answer to everything, like a broken record.  Like, as soon as you raise your hand in class you don't even have to ask the question, the teacher will just automatically answer, "Security," and move on. So security quelched everything and trumped everything.

But at some point there has to be some accountability and the individual has to be treated like and adult and if there are unethical things going on behind the facade of "security" some members might like to know.

This is true with government, too, right?  Think of Washington, D.C. (my country's capital); there have been times when they classify documents that shouldn't be classified.  These are documents that pose absolutely no security risk to the country at all.  So some media outlet or nonprofit watchdog group gets a whiff of an incidence like this and exposes it and it turns out documents were classified only because they embarrassed the current administration - made them look bad and they didn't want people to know about it.  That's not why documents are supposed to be classified!  And when missionaries come to the Vienna mission and tacitly (or otherwise) agree to suspend judgement for the sake of security, they are most likely thinking of security issues involving logistics and the like.  But if the mission is hiding information like cooperation with a government, that's a whole other ball of wax and some missionaries might not feel so comfortable with that, especially if it's something like the military or CIA or something.  But then by the time they learn of such things they're already in the thick of things, so they really needed to know about this kind of thing up front or earlier on, but that's the psychology of the mission (the leadership) and they understand how that works.  They're not stupid.

So the mission leads a double life, where they know these truths, as given in this text, but they don't really live them internally inside the mission.  So this is a case of "Do as I say, not as I do."

***

"All persons -- young and old -- face some confusions about the important things in their lives.  They are surrounded by a glittering array of choices, like a child at a candy counter.  Youth feel this confusion intensely and reflect it readily.  Older people also tend to be confused; though their confusion is less noticeable, it is not less acute.

In almost every area of human endeavor and involvement one observes values and value conflicts operating:

... Within the milieu of modern living conflicts arise, problems emerbe, and values clash.  Chaplains -- as pastors, teachers, and leaders -- are aware of these conflicts." (p. 45)

Ever since my Vienna mission experience I have been very interested in the ethical issues for Christians in various fields.  Most professional level fields have ethical statements from their professional association they can turn to, but that isn't always adequate for the Christian.

Anyway, it's clear that Christians are going to experience these kinds of conflicts because the world's values don't mesh with the Bible's instructions for us.  So we should be masters of dealing with conflict and be able to readily recognize conflict, but we can't always, or for some reason we might be able to recognize it but we don't respond as we should.   It's not easy being the minority and standing out as being different.  I know because I feel like I've spend a lot of my life in that position, although it wasn't always that way.  The Vienna mission changed that, because after that I began taking stands that weren't even popular in Christian circles.  I've already paid a heavy price for taking stands for what I believe in, and while I didn't really necessarily want to, I felt I had to because there was no way I could give in in those situations.  So now I'm less willing to just go along with the flow if I really don't agree with something or think something is wrong enough to not be able to go along with it.

***

Next the author suggests 4 ways the chaplain can "provide guidance in values training:

1. MORALIZING: This direct approach assumes that the chaplain's experiences and resulting values system is right for those whom he teaches... moralizing usually influences only one's vocabulary and little else.

2. A LAISSEZ-FAIRE ATTITUDE: This approach says, "Think and do and be the way you want, and in the long run, everything will turn out okay."... In daily life... everything does not "turn out okay," regardless of the values one cherishes.

3. MODELING: ...The multiplication of models make it difficult, if not impossible, for one to know which is right for him or her.

4. VALUES CLARIFICATION: This is a process which allows persons to bild and to discover their own values systems... To use values clarification exercises, however, it is essential to recognize that process is far more important than content." (p. 45-46)

The thing here is that the values were taught especially during the socialization process at the Vienna mission, rather than in the seminary classes.  As I've said before, although it bears repeating here, socialization was a very individualistic affair in the mission for several reasons, I think.  For one thing, new missionaries came trickling in so you couldn't really have classes of cohorts training.  Also, the positions varied as did the personals and the issues they might have needed focusing on.  I think it may also have depending on who was doing the socializaing, because different socializers might have been more or less comfortable with different tactics of socilalization. So I'm going to go through these discussing them as things that might have been used with some people (or not).

Moralizing.  I think this was used some, but probably mostly in the guise of sharing one's testimony to the effect of "This worked for me, you should try it too."

Laissez-Faire.  I think this only would have been used if the mission wanted to watch the individual, but I think it would have been the rarest of them all, because the mission was basically more controlling.

Modeling.  They did use mentoring, probably pretty much across the board with most if not all new missionaries, so part of the mentoring process would have included modeling.  But I don't think that modeling would have been used as a stand alone method apart from mentoring.  However, the new missionary would have been watching to learn from others, but a lot of times the one they were watching might have been unaware that they were modeling.

Values Clarification.  I think this happened, but only by those who were well able to explain clearly what the mission's values were, so that would have been limited to just a select few members of the mission, very likely not the mentor of the mission.  If a person had to have a serious sit-down values clarification, I expect by that point that something seriously was wrong and the person might be in trouble, like I was.

***

"Values clarification exercises, whatever their form, are essentially connected to this process of valuing: choosing, prizing, and acting." (p. 47)

The Vienna mission uses a variety of means to try to make new missionaries choose their values, the values that don't show up on their annual report, in their brochures, etc.  The values that have to do with security and whatever else lies behind that veil of secrecy.  In fact, I learned that they'll pretty much do whatever they have to to get you to choose their values (and norms), such as:

1. trying to lure you in with their love and familial acceptance
2. threats of going crazy (backed by stressors, sending you for counseling, etc.), which I think is a kind of use of force
3. humiliation, such as demotions and shunning
4. cutting off outside relations 
5. etc.

I'm not sure what they'll do to make you prize it, because I never got that far.  Prizing it, I think might include actually internalizing it.  I think you can choose it, but not really internalize it, but I can't imagine prizing it and not at the same time also inernalizing it.  The mission wanted it's values and norms internalized, so it would have not been satisfied with just choosing.

***

So that's the end of that article. 

247. Vienna Mission Years, Pt. 7

"The Mennonites are Anabaptists of Dutch and German origin who found sanctuary in Russia from the eighteenth century, and were by and large well treated under the Tsars. The Soviets found about 100,000 in their territory after the Revolution - and within a decade had set about rooting them out completely, a process accelerated during the purges. They were suspect partly because of their Western origins, but even more because of their traditional pacifism - a key feature in their religious outlook. It should be emphasized, however, that there is not hint of extremism in their religious make-up. A recent Soviet writer on the subject F. Fedorenko (Sects, their Faith and Practice, p. 153), admits that a new wave of activity began in the sect in 1956-7, when active preachers began to return from prison - in other words, the effort at total suppression by Stalin had signally failed. The Soviet Union Remains the only country of the world where there is a major Mennonite colony which has no right to set up an administrative body. Since 1963 they have been encouraged to throw in their lot with the Baptists which means being forced to give up their pacifism and other special characteristics. In 1967 came the first news of registration of a Mennonite congregation in its own right (Bratsky Vestnik - 'Fraternal Herald' - the official organ of the Russian Baptists, No. r, 1967, p. 42), and others have followed."

Religious Minorities in the Soviet Union: A Report, rev. 4th ed. (1984). Minority Rights Group, report no. 1. London: Minority Rights Group, p. 12-13.

***

I think the month of August, my second full month in Vienna, the great welcoming fanfare subsided... the honeymoon period of my relationship with the mission ended. I guess all the people that felt like they had to make initial acquaintance with me had done so, although I wouldn't have thought of it in these terms at the time. I do know, however, that it didn't bother me so much that the fanfare ended (since the welcome seemed overblown to me anyway), as it did that the stressors increased. That is, I hadn't expected so much apparently positive feedback right away nor so much negative feedback that followed.

Actually, I had been getting negative feedback in the form of non-work (reading software manuals) and the mission's continued effort to set me up with a roommate from the very beginning. But the negative feedback at work kept building up even after the positive welcome dwindled. As my mission-centric social engagements tapered off, however, my Austrian activities increased, so that it began to look more and more like my relationship with the mission being a 9 to 5 affair with somewhat more social interaction than one might have at a regular office job back home. So in this way, I was treating the mission as an office job with no real intentions, on my part, of pushing for more than that. Neither did I particularly feel an obligation to anyone to tell the mission what I was thinking nor what I was intending to do in my off hours. So the vacuum left by the mission by way of dwindling off-hour social activities I gradually filled with Austrian activities.

Besides my feeling comfortable in the Austrian context in general, my personality also made the withdrawal of excess attention rather insignificant to me because 1) I hadn't expected such an overblown welcome in the first place, but also 2) my personality is such that I don't mind alone time. That is, the drop off in mission-centric social activities and the resulting alone time didn't particularly phase me, where it might have been meant as a stressor and it wasn't.

That being said, however, I think it was in August that I began having more and more troubles at work. These are hard to explain and I would have had to document them step by step to be able to get them across to you very well now. But what happened for the next two or three months was that I began having more and more problems getting things done at work. That is, when I was given anything to do that involved any interactions outside of my office, such as phone calls or even needing to get supplies, I started having problems in carrying out these responsibilities. But everyone else seemed to have a "logical" explanation for any particular problem I was having. In this way, it made it look like everyone just thought that these problems were normal and to be expected but they seemed too contrived and limited to the work setting for me to believe that. Nevertheless, I felt like I shouldn't open up too much about my frustrations.

A lot of times it felt like I had to do things over and over again to get them right or problems with the phone system, for example, were unpredictable. In this way, my attempts to figure things out was always thwarted because nothing ever worked the way I thought they should or the way I'd been explained. I did express my frustration too, although I wouldn't say I got angry exactly and nor did I let on that I thought these things were intentional tests, but I did think that. The thing was, a lot of times I couldn't explain what the possible mechanisms for these things were, and if I thought I could explain them that would attribute actions and, therefore, qualities, to my fellow workers that I knew wouldn't be believed.

I should also say that these problems at work were particularly a part of my experiences until I was sent back to the States and after that they subsided. Also, this is the only time in my life where I've experienced this kind of thing and it was specific only to my experiences at the office. That is, my experiences in my outside relations and activities did not include these kinds of stressors. This meant that my Austrian activities allowed me to maintain a sense of grounding in the face of my mission-centric problems and shifting sand foundation. My mental map of how to function in Austria grew stronger and continually more accurate, whereas my understanding of the mission grew weaker, if anything.

Now this is a strange thing, when you think of it, because I was working mostly with Americans with a very similar background to mine in many ways, which I've discussed at some length elsewhere in this blog. But then, the problems at work seemed to be more things that just "didn't work" rather than strictly with people. So the main way the people would have been involved would have been if I attributed to how things didn't work to them, and I didn't have concrete enough proof to do that, although I was sure it was true. So I never told anyone I thought these things I was experiencing were contrived.

So through all this what were my complaints that I expressed to others? My complaints were just the problems I was having at work getting things done. So that was the one hook they had to catch me with, the work-related stress.

***

The month of August is rather sparsely populated in my calendar. On Saturday, August 1 I invited the director of human resources and his wife over for dinner. I don't really remember that evening, but in hindsight, considering what eventually transpired - several months later - it's rather ironic that they seem to have been my first dinner guests. They might have been being friendly to me in an effort to try to get to know me, because they would be key people in deciding on the mission's path to take with me. In any event, by that time I was set up enough to feel comfortable entertaining already.

***

As I continued at the Austrian church, there was a wedding Saturday, August 15 and I brought a green salad for 10 people to it. So I was beginning to get settled in there a bit too. This might be a good time to discuss the church.

The church, Evangelikale Gemeinde Döbling, at that time was a church-planting effort led by an American couple. The attendance was about what my current church is, that is around 30 people or so on any give typical Sunday. The people there were very friendly and received me well. Since the pastor and his wife, my colleague from the mission and I were all Americans and the idea was for it to be an Austrian church, I was mindful of wanting to work under their leadership. That is, despite the fact that the American presence included more Bible and theological training than would have been so for the Austrians, many of whom were young Christians, the point was to let them have the leadership. Of course, my German wasn't so great anyway at this point, although I was able to function well enough, as we'll see as things move along here. I expect that bringing a salad for the wedding was my first contribution to the church functioning.

In any case, the problems I had at work most definitely did not carry over to my relations with the church.

***

On Thursday, August 20th I had another appointment with my doctor to get new prescriptions.

***

Then on Saturday, August 22 I had two of the young families over for a picnic. Both of the men in the families were instructors in the ministry to Eastern Europe. I remember this picnic really well, so I'll go into more detail about it.

The reason I had them over for a picnic was because my apartment was so small and I thought the younger kids, especially the ones of the new family, would enjoy being able to run around.

I spent a lot of time preparing for the picnic, including a salad and dessert. I packed everything up and they men helped carry it all to the picnic site, because it was at the edge of the Wienerwald (Viennese Forest) near me, so we walked to it from my place, about 1/2 a mile (ca. 1 km.).

***

Here is one of the recipes I prepared:

Corned-Beef Picnic Buns

6 oz. corned beef, chopped
2 tablespoons chili sauce
1/4 cup mayonnaise
1 tablespoon pickle relish
1 tablespoon finely chopped onion
2 ounces Monterey Jack cheese, diced
1 (8 oz.) can refrigerated crescent rolls
1 1/2 teaspoons butter or margarine, melted
1/2 cup crushed potato chips

Prehead oven to 375F (190C). Grease 8 muffin cups. In a bowl, combine corned beef, chili sauce, mayonnaise, pickle relish, onion and cheese. Separate refrigerated dough into triangles. Place about 2 tablespoons corned-beef mixture on each dough triangle near wide end. Pull up sides of dough over filling. Roll to opposite point of triangle until filling is completely covered. Pinch edges to seal. Place buns in greased muffin cups with point of dough on the bottom. Brush tops with butter or margarine. Sprinkle potato chips over bun. Gently press chips into buns. Bake until lightly browned, about 20 minutes. Cool slightly on rack. Wrap warm buns in paper napkins or paper towels. Serve warm or at room temperature. If buns will not be served within 3 hours, refrigerate. Rehead buns on a baking sheet in a 350F (175C) oven 10 minutes. Makes 8 servings.

Deeming, Sue, & Deeming, Bill. (1983). Soups & Sandwiches. Tucson, AZ: HP Books, p. 91.

***

I think everyone had fun. After eating the women stayed chatting around the picnic table while the men and young boys walked around a bit. The boys had a bit of excitement when they found a harmless snake. Then we had dessert later on and eventually walked back to my apartment.

I always have enjoyed entertaining, so it's been difficult when I've been in situations that I haven't been able to do as much as I'd otherwise like to. I am resourceful, though, and always manage to find something else to fill my time with. Still, it's not like I don't know there's some compensating going on for what I'd maybe rather be doing or at least what I'd be happier doing.

***

This is the end of my August 1987 entries in my calendar, and I'm going to take another break here because I have more files I need to go through here before I reach the 5th month crisis point.

19. Stuck in USSR

After all this minor chit chat and theoretical discussion, it's perhaps time to have a little action. This entry actually doesn't have anything to do with the really big problems I later faced, but it was certainly a good training ground for later experiences.

The background I'm going to give you first off, was unknown to us going through what we did until later, some parts took months to piece together. I was with an American group December 1981 in Moscow, and a friend, who also happened to be an assistant leader of the group, and I were going to leave the country separately and take a couple extra weeks to return to the States, eventually flying out of London. We didn't intend to stay in the USSR though. We were traveling by train to London, and my friend wanted to leave the USSR via Romania because she wanted to see Bucharest. We were hoping to spend Christmas outside Rome with some acquaintances we had, but something happened with the mail and we hadn't heard back, so that was uncertain. Our separate flights out of London were in the beginning of January 1982.

We didn't know though that while we were in the USSR martial law had been declared in Poland. We knew of the ongoing unrest there with Solidarity, of course, and had very explicitly asked not to be routed through Poland. We were supposed to pick up our train ticket out of the USSR in Moscow, so we didn't know until much later (or it didn't sink in) that they had actually booked us through Poland.

I tended to write my journal in incomplete sentences, but I'll clarify in brackets where it seems particularly unclear. Here is a quote from my journal entry of that trip:


17 Dec. '81, Thurs.
7:30 [a.m.] leave for airport rest of group (me back to bed)
plane leaves 20 hours late - Lufthansa (switch from Aeroflot)
[Later my dad told me that the airline switch and the fact that they were served German food on the plane indicates that the planes were flown in just to bring people out of Moscow].

K. [my friend] & I still have no train tickets
- she calls me to tell me we might be able to leave the 20th
- a woman from Sputnik takes me to their head office via bus to buy tickets [these bus rides alone were surreal. Picture this: me, a bus drive and the tour guide alone in a huge luxury bus.]
-wait in hotel room - others still haven't left

18 Dec. 81, Fri.
- about to leave room when woman from Sputnik calls to say I need to pay for hotel. I wait for her and then we go back downtown to Sputnik's central office. Back to hotel where K. is sleeping
[Every day of our extended time in Moscow was interrupted by demands for us to pay for, pick up or arrange something or the other related to our stay or trip out. Also, K. had just returned from the airport where she was seeing the group off as the last of her responsibilities with them.]

19 Dec. 81, Sat.
Sleep in late. Wait for Marina [a local official] to bring us our passports & visas. She's sick - bad cold.
We leave hotel about 1 p.m. Tried to find food Beriozka [Beriozkas were the hard currency stores, and some of them specialized in food items. Our hotel was] Too far out in boonies. Then shop at Gastronom [grocery store] - I'm sick of junk food - starving & have headache. [We hadn't paid for meals for the extra days at the hotel because the food there was so bad. We had trouble finding other food though.]

Return individually to hotel. Early to bed.

20 Dec. 1981
Sleep in. Went to bakery, bought juice and nuts at berezka. Our taxi left at 3 pm for Kievskii station. Train left 4:40.

21 Dec. 1981
After passing Kiev in early morning K. noticed notice [i.e., sign/poster in the train hallway] of our route. We'd be going through Chop, not a Romanian border crossing. Had no Hungarian visa.

That evening we had to get off the train at the border after a thorough checking. We [K. and I only] were driven to a customs building-border offices to get transit visas. We left there about midnight. Were driven a short distance on to a bridge, stopped half-way and were met by Hungarian border patrol on foot. We carried our luggage across the border/bridge to Hungarian border control building. They were very friendly to us. We walked 1 km. to train station. 2 hour difference from Moscow. Had to wait about 2-2 1/2 hours. Went to Budapest. We were there a few hours - had to change train stations. Bought records. We took 1:05 pm train to Zagreb. Arrived at 8 p.m.

I'm going to stop there. We were really wiped out at that point and ended out spending Christmas in Pula, on the Adriatic (now in Slovenia).

In Kiev the Soviets wanted to separate K. and I so that one would stay and take care of the necessary visas and the other would continue on to the border, and wait for the other of us to come with the visas. K. vehemently declined to let them separate us - she knew how to work with them better than I did. They kept saying the Hungarians wouldn't give us visas and asking why we would come without visas. This kind of talk continued at the border house.

The exchange at the border between the USSR and Hungary though was completely surreal. We were out in the middle of nowhere with only trees around in either direction and a small ravine-like ditch between the two countries. The border patrol on both sides were armed and you'd think it was an exchange of spies or something. In Hungary they were very apologetic for us being inconvenienced and they gave us a bit to eat and drink too. It was like night and day the difference between the two sides of the border.

Also, in our Soviet train there were three berths in our cabin and the third one was taken, at least part of the way, by a kind lady that we got to know a bit.

So this was sort of my first introduction to that part of the world. Of course, I didn't tell you about what we did (before the trouble leaving the country, I mean) while we were there, such as going to Zagorsk, going to the Bolshoi ballet, visiting Lenin's tomb, going to a public sauna, or meeting up with the Siberian Seven [Pentecostals from Siberia who fled to the U.S. embassy trying to emigrate; see this Time article about them: http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,925232,00.html] in the U.S. Embassy. Some of these things were done in free time, not as part of the group activities.

K. and I only found out about martial law in Poland when we were able to contact our families in the USA, who told us. Things were pretty free in Yugoslavia and Hungary but information was evidently controlled, at least in this case.

At this point I don't think I was having any fall-out from my Dad's work, though. It wasn't too long though that that started to change, although it took a while to experience some things that seemed clearer on this point. In 1981 I think our problems leaving the USSR were just because we were at the wrong place at the wrong time. But it sure makes for dramatic story telling. That scene at the border crossing is forever etched in my mind. All we lacked was some kind of spy/thriller soundtrack in the background to complete the scene.

Moral of the story: try to avoid being at the wrong place at the wrong time. And if you can't avoid it, be sure to bring lots of (healthy) nonperishable food to carry you through it.

~ Meg

18. Today, Apologetics & Sanity

Historically I've been the sort of penultimate multi-tasker; but now when too much is going on at one time I end out messing up somewhere or the other.

Last night before going to bed I got the hiccups. I haven't had them in a long time, since 2005-2006 when I got them occasionally. So I laid in bed last night waiting for the hiccups to stop before putting the CPAP mask on, and I evidently fell asleep with it on my lap. So I guess the fatigue overpowered the hiccups or something.

I ended out getting a bit later start today because of the disrupted sleep, and then I had an 11:00 physical therapy appointment. But about half and hour before I had to leave for that appointment Mom called. She's back in her own apartment again. I was going to send her a phone card so that she could call me from the rehab center, but I kept dragging my feet about it because I didn't know what to say to her considering some of our rocky conversations over the past 6 months or so. I told her I couldn't talk long, which was true. I had just finished my morning 45-minute stimulator and was sitting down to breakfast when she called. I still had to wash up to go too. At least it was a pleasant conversation, if a short one. I just can't deal with extra stress right now.

Then someone must have turned off the water, which I had trickling on my two best artichoke plants. They seem to like a lot of water and it's been hot and dry this week. I think everything's doing okay, but one of my young Canterbury bell plants really wilted pretty badly, so I tried to take care of them - my plants - when I got home.

At P/T I generally have been ending with laying on my back on hot pads and doing some stretches while laying there enjoying the heat. But today I started sweating, so I didn't stay on as long. I just took my temperature and it's only 99.1 though. I've been taking Aleve after it gets up to about 99.3 or so.

Anyway, I wanted to talk about something else, actually. I've had a little bit of education in Christian apologetics, which is ways to present arguments for the faith. One of the lines of logic in this process involves who we think Jesus Christ was. The theory is that there are basically three ways we can understand Him. He was either...

1) a liar

2) a lunatic

3) or who He said He was.

If He was a liar, that meant that He really knew that He wasn't God the Son, the Savior and the Jewish Messiah (etc.). If this was the case he was a great con artist, maybe akin to the band leader in the musical Music Man.

Being a lunatic would be like an insane person saying they were a poached egg or something. It would mean He really thought He was God and all those other things, but he wasn't.

If the last option is true, however, then we really have to take Him seriously and decide whether we are, individually, going to accept Him or reject Him as our personal Savior, which is, in brief, what He asked of people.

Before I move on in my discussion, I'd like to say that this might be a good time for you to consider which choice you think is right (and why, perhaps, too) and what you are going to do about it, if anything. As far as apologetics goes, there are a lot of other approaches to this, including historical evidences, archeology and other lines of logical thinking, but this is just one approach that I want to focus on here. So if you are inclined to not take Jesus Christ seriously, you might want to look at some other evidence. Here's one place to check this out more (I hope you can click directly to the link, but the last one I put here you had to copy and paste into the URL on your browser): http://www.apologeticspress.org/modules.php?name=Search&Terms=jesus+christ&x=9&y=3

So now we're taking this in another direction. I want to look especially at the second option above, about making claims out of lunacy. You may or may not remember that the Soviet Union misused psychiatry for it's political ends. Dissidents were declared "insane" and sent to and treated at psychiatric hospitals. Here are some links about this:

http://www.apologeticspress.org/modules.php?name=Search&Terms=jesus+christ&x=9&y=3

www.jaapl.org/cgi/reprint/30/1/136.pdf

http://www.sakharov-center.ru/museum/expositions/english/resistance-unfreedom-ussr/

http://wapedia.mobi/en/Persecution_of_Christians_in_the_Soviet_Union

That should be enough to give you the idea of what I mean. In these instances, authorities wanted to control unwanted elements of society by subjecting such people to psychiatric treatment and thereby trying to re-educate them or keep them out of society and also malign them, saying these people were really crazy.

I researched Christianity in Communist countries with some (well, two, to be specific) of the leading organizations specializing in this field, and even published a couple things, either alone or jointly, so I have a little idea of what I'm talking about, even though I might be a bit rusty on it now as it's been a while.

This idea of insanity is quite powerful, and how it's used can have a significant impact for the good or for the bad. Would Jesus Christ have been considered insane by modern standards? I don't think so, but I think the Soviet Union would likely have classified Him as such.

One time when I was in Russia (by that time it was after the break up of the USSR) I was on a tram with a student of mine who happened to be a psychiatrist. I don't remember why we were on the tram together; maybe we just met up by coincidence or something. But I remember we were both standing on the tram holding on to the straps and he asked me point blank if I was homosexual, to which he quickly added that homosexuals were not classified as insane in Russia. I'm not homosexual, but I thought that was interesting about how he asked it and even that it was an issue that needed asking. I assume, from how he asked me that somewhere (or maybe earlier in the USSR) homosexuals are/were considered insane. Hmmmm.

I need to leave off for now, but this topic will come up again later, undoubtedly sooner than later.

Ciao,
Meg