I really haven't forgotten this blog; it's just that I have not been well. My health has actually been deteriorating, but the situation has also been aggravated by my problems with doctors... it's a long story. I didn't want to discuss the present too much yet here, but I've tried doing a little of that in another venue. Here's a brief summary though.
My pain worsened rapidly the first 2 months (starting early Sept.) and then I started getting more and worse neurological symptoms. There are (at last count) three different things going on, which may be interrelated, at least to some extent. These are: cervical stenosis, gastroentological (g.i.) problems (I'll know more tomorrow when I see the g.i. doctor following a battery of tests), and the allergic reaction that started the end of Aug. Currently the allergy doctor doesn't think it's an allergy at all, but something else. I'm not sure it he knows what it is, but I see him Monday. I'm also having cervical surgery next week - diskectomy and fusion.
I've had a horrible time with doctors, though. I'm not sure I want to go into the details now, but I've ended out having doctors all over the place - rather than all at the University of Miami. Also, most of the UM facilities & doctors dropped my insurance, which led to another problem. And my primary care, who was very excellent, first went on maternity leave all summer, came back for a month or so, and then left all together. And my physiatrist, who treats me for fibromyalgia and spinal issues, was only part-time for about 6 months for health reasons. When I tried to fill in the gaps left by these two doctors I had some difficulty, and my neurologist went off in not only useless, but harmful tangents. It's a big mess.
Right now my main priority is getting the health care I need, and the cervical is the most pressing. I've had 3 epidural shots for the neck, am on 300 mg/day of tramadol. I was able to drop the oxycodone after having the second epidural shot. But I'm also having neurological symptoms, including weakness and poor muscle control of the arms/hands and legs. I also think my digestive system has been affected. I've also had increasing numbness not only in the hands and feet, but on my face and sometimes even my scalp.
My church has been such a blessing to me in this difficult time. I don't hear anything from my brothers (not surprising given our recent history... ), although mom and I have contact.
I hope you can understand now why I've had to take a hiatus from this blog for a while.
~ Meg
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
112. I'm Still Here
This has been a rough few weeks, and I'm afraid it's not over yet. But yesterday I was prescribed more pain medicine so at least I'm a lot more functional now. We still don't know everything that's going on health-wise, but I had another blood test today and I have 3 MRIs this week. Here's what we have so far:
1. It appears that I have a pinched nerve in the cervical area. At least that's what the x-ray showed, although the MRI should provide more information.
2. Something is also going on in my lower spine, but it's not yet certain what. I'm having pain in both the cervical and lower spine and trouble with my legs (esp. the left one) and my left arm.
3. I still have the allergy thing going on and I have to get off my 3 allergy meds. pretty soon in preparation for my next appointment with the allergy doctor so he can see what the current status is vis a vis my allergic reaction.
4. My primary care doctor ordered a blood test (Alpha-fetoprotein-L3 percent) today that seems to be for cancer (see LabTestsOnline.com)
My finances are a problem too, but I'm doing the best I can. I'm having to cut back on some of my supplements. I've also been having some more chest congestion lately which has me concerned that the viral bug I had from mid Dec. 2009 to mid. Aug. 2010 might not be completely gone either. Then I keep coming up with new symptoms and I'm only relieved to find out their inconsequential (such as the bumps in my left armpit I found Mon. morning).
I feel like I'm falling a part, but my physical therapist assures me they'll put me back together again. As you can well guess, I've been pretty pre-occupied with health issues and just taking care of my basic chores and responsibilities, so working on this blog has become a lower priority at this point. The way things look now, though, I expect it's going to be a while before things settle down for me health-wise and I can resume my life story. But then, this is my life story too, just in real-time.
In the mean-time I hope you're faring better than I am!
~Meg
1. It appears that I have a pinched nerve in the cervical area. At least that's what the x-ray showed, although the MRI should provide more information.
2. Something is also going on in my lower spine, but it's not yet certain what. I'm having pain in both the cervical and lower spine and trouble with my legs (esp. the left one) and my left arm.
3. I still have the allergy thing going on and I have to get off my 3 allergy meds. pretty soon in preparation for my next appointment with the allergy doctor so he can see what the current status is vis a vis my allergic reaction.
4. My primary care doctor ordered a blood test (Alpha-fetoprotein-L3 percent) today that seems to be for cancer (see LabTestsOnline.com)
My finances are a problem too, but I'm doing the best I can. I'm having to cut back on some of my supplements. I've also been having some more chest congestion lately which has me concerned that the viral bug I had from mid Dec. 2009 to mid. Aug. 2010 might not be completely gone either. Then I keep coming up with new symptoms and I'm only relieved to find out their inconsequential (such as the bumps in my left armpit I found Mon. morning).
I feel like I'm falling a part, but my physical therapist assures me they'll put me back together again. As you can well guess, I've been pretty pre-occupied with health issues and just taking care of my basic chores and responsibilities, so working on this blog has become a lower priority at this point. The way things look now, though, I expect it's going to be a while before things settle down for me health-wise and I can resume my life story. But then, this is my life story too, just in real-time.
In the mean-time I hope you're faring better than I am!
~Meg
Monday, September 20, 2010
111. Marathon Day
By "marathon" I mean I was running all day like in a marathon.
I started out at the Vocational Rehabilitation office where I was supposed to sign my work agreement. I updated the social worker on my health condition and we agreed to stall a bit, but signed it with that caveat. Hopefully it won't be too much longer before I can work again.
Then from there I had physical therapy, but I had to try to get medical records, especially lab reports, from a couple of doctor's offices near where my physical therapy is. The first office actually handles medical records at another site, so they're mailing them to me. The second place gave them to me, but I was late to physical therapy by that time, so I came back after p/t to pick them up.
After p/t I quickly grabbed a sandwich for lunch (to eat in the car) and then swung by to get the second set of medical records. Then I headed to my allergy doctor appointment. My face was pretty swollen again this morning, but as the day wore on it subsided.
I got to the appointment and the gal at the front desk put me on the phone with the person (someone different from who I talked to when I called from home) who is in charge of insurance for them, and basically it became clear that they were always going to require a co-pay from me ($30 per doctor visit). So with that new and apparently final information, I told them that I couldn't continue there in that case because I couldn't afford the co-pays, especially if there were going to be frequent appointments, which it was looking like was going to be the case.
Then I went to BJ's because I was halfway there at that point and I was running on empty. Then I stopped by Giant to get prune juice for my IBS and stopped in at State Farm. It turned out, though, that I guess I didn't have enough money in my credit card account to pay 3 months. At least I have till Oct. 16 to pay. I feel like I'm just not keeping up with expenses and I've been starting to cut back on things like supplements that I know work for me. It's just a vicious circle.
I haven't had time to really go through the medical records I got from the one doctor, but in just quickly glancing through them I see that last time I saw him he noted that my voice was raspy, which I've been noticing too and asked my physical therapist if she noticed anything, and she said it sounded almost like I'm sick or something, and I don't have a cold or sore throat. So that's one more issue to address. Sometimes it's hard to know which symptoms are important and which are just trivial, especially when there are so many health things going on.
The issue with the allergy doctor is a big set back in the sense that this doctor was starting to believe me that I did have a serious allergy (He wanted me back in just 1 week, for example). But I'm becoming more and more convinced that the problem is dust mite allergy and it seemed like he was more inclined to think it was the Lyrica which can cause these kinds of symptoms. But my physiatrist agrees with me that I've been on Lyrica too long with no problems so she doesn't think that's it. Last week, I did see a new allergy doctor who takes both of my insurances. He didn't see me at my worst though, as I'd started back on my medicines already. He said that sometimes these things wear off, so I should see him again in a month or 6 weeks and try to wean myself off some of the medicines to see what happens. So I'll be sure to do that before I see him, so he can see me how I am without the 3 allergy medicines.
I don't think it's going to wear off, but I do think that if it's the dust mites my bedroom is just a perfect incubator for them and it's an uphill battle fighting it, especially when I don't feel that well anyway. What I mean by being a perfect incubator for the dust mites is that the bedroom has carpeting and also my tiny closet doesn't fit all my clothes, so I have some hanging up, although I've been working at decreasing that and when I have some extra money (!!) I'd like to get garment bags for the rest, which would hopefully contain that part of the problem a bit. Today I found a dust mite cover at BJs for my box springs, so now my whole bed plus pillows will be covered. I'd been looking for these there, as that's where I got the other ones too, but I hadn't seen the right size until today. I really couldn't afford it, but I do know it's helped and as far as these things go it's not a big expenditure.
I'm really wiped out after that big day, but I just made roasted cauliflower, which made the smoke alarms in my apartment go off. The overhead fan above the stove doesn't work. Nothing was burning and it didn't even smell like burning, but I got out a little fan and opened the door until I finished. I think it got all the neighbors out though; I apologized for the noise, but they were understanding.
So now, for a quick health round up, I am having continuing allergic reactions, my IBS is acting up, I'm having weakness in the legs still (reminiscent of the kind of weakness I had before my back surgery a couple years ago), and I'm having a hoarse voice too. I think that's it, at least for the main things. I made an appointment with my primary care physician again.
***
On another front, I got a call from Mom tonight. She wanted my address because her aunt wants to give me an my brothers (and other relatives, mom included) some early monies from her will, probably next year some time. I told mom that the reason I hadn't given her my address was because I was sick of them using the money issue manipulatively and I don't want anything from them. If she wants to give me a Christmas gift, fine, but nothing else. I don't care how bad off it gets for me, I've learned too much from this family that getting help from them always has strings attached. I made sure she understood that before I gave her my address. She promised not to give it to my brothers though.
I'd like to say a little more about this family thing and money. Last February, when I had my 50th birthday, mom didn't even call. Now she didn't have my address here so she couldn't have sent me anything if she wanted. But she could at least have called, because my phone number (and e-mail too) were unchanged. She doesn't use e-mail though. I believe that the reason she didn't call was because she uses money in a manipulative way and if there was no way she could send me a gift and she just called, she would not be in a superior powerful position vis a vis me, and she will not accept that in a relationship with me. In a sense, sadly enough, it comes across to me that the only thing she has to offer this family is money. From my standpoint, I'd be glad to get the money issue out of the way. I think I mentioned earlier on this blog, though, that my family doesn't know how to have egalitarian relationships and this is one example of that. I'm sure we'll come across lots of others along the way as I go along in this blog.
The other thing I'd like to mention about that phone call is our brief discussion about vegetables. We discussed the vegetables we were both going to prepare tonight and she mentioned that all of the family likes our vegetables. I mentioned that I didn't think Rich did so much, and she immediately disagreed that it was because of his 2 boys that he couldn't eat different vegetables. I told her that my experience last summer was that he used his sons as a crutch when he himself is actually pretty picky and he can be pretty forceful in his preferences too. She didn't agree with me, but I told her that I personally experienced some of his put downs in this regard and said that I felt sorry for his boys if they experienced some of this kind of thing too, which I am all but 100% sure they do. She said the boys are doing fine and there's no problem there. End of conversation.
I really can't stand my family. Mom's going to do everything in her power, I think to try to bring us all together again, and if it looks at all like I might gain some strength they'll be only too willing to declare me crazy. And remember, when it happens, you heard it here first.
One example of how this could transpire is if I get really sick and mom goes in emergency savior mode and can't contain her desire to have everyone concerned about me, such as by means of furtive prayer requests on my behalf. Then if the family is not involved in saving me from what is clearly something not of my own making they would look bad and that is unacceptable. And to reject their assistance is surely a sign of craziness, because who in their right mind would reject assistance from family members?
***
Even though this is all dealing with the present, when I get back to dealing with the historical events, hopefully these things will help you understand some of what went on earlier.
I started out at the Vocational Rehabilitation office where I was supposed to sign my work agreement. I updated the social worker on my health condition and we agreed to stall a bit, but signed it with that caveat. Hopefully it won't be too much longer before I can work again.
Then from there I had physical therapy, but I had to try to get medical records, especially lab reports, from a couple of doctor's offices near where my physical therapy is. The first office actually handles medical records at another site, so they're mailing them to me. The second place gave them to me, but I was late to physical therapy by that time, so I came back after p/t to pick them up.
After p/t I quickly grabbed a sandwich for lunch (to eat in the car) and then swung by to get the second set of medical records. Then I headed to my allergy doctor appointment. My face was pretty swollen again this morning, but as the day wore on it subsided.
I got to the appointment and the gal at the front desk put me on the phone with the person (someone different from who I talked to when I called from home) who is in charge of insurance for them, and basically it became clear that they were always going to require a co-pay from me ($30 per doctor visit). So with that new and apparently final information, I told them that I couldn't continue there in that case because I couldn't afford the co-pays, especially if there were going to be frequent appointments, which it was looking like was going to be the case.
Then I went to BJ's because I was halfway there at that point and I was running on empty. Then I stopped by Giant to get prune juice for my IBS and stopped in at State Farm. It turned out, though, that I guess I didn't have enough money in my credit card account to pay 3 months. At least I have till Oct. 16 to pay. I feel like I'm just not keeping up with expenses and I've been starting to cut back on things like supplements that I know work for me. It's just a vicious circle.
I haven't had time to really go through the medical records I got from the one doctor, but in just quickly glancing through them I see that last time I saw him he noted that my voice was raspy, which I've been noticing too and asked my physical therapist if she noticed anything, and she said it sounded almost like I'm sick or something, and I don't have a cold or sore throat. So that's one more issue to address. Sometimes it's hard to know which symptoms are important and which are just trivial, especially when there are so many health things going on.
The issue with the allergy doctor is a big set back in the sense that this doctor was starting to believe me that I did have a serious allergy (He wanted me back in just 1 week, for example). But I'm becoming more and more convinced that the problem is dust mite allergy and it seemed like he was more inclined to think it was the Lyrica which can cause these kinds of symptoms. But my physiatrist agrees with me that I've been on Lyrica too long with no problems so she doesn't think that's it. Last week, I did see a new allergy doctor who takes both of my insurances. He didn't see me at my worst though, as I'd started back on my medicines already. He said that sometimes these things wear off, so I should see him again in a month or 6 weeks and try to wean myself off some of the medicines to see what happens. So I'll be sure to do that before I see him, so he can see me how I am without the 3 allergy medicines.
I don't think it's going to wear off, but I do think that if it's the dust mites my bedroom is just a perfect incubator for them and it's an uphill battle fighting it, especially when I don't feel that well anyway. What I mean by being a perfect incubator for the dust mites is that the bedroom has carpeting and also my tiny closet doesn't fit all my clothes, so I have some hanging up, although I've been working at decreasing that and when I have some extra money (!!) I'd like to get garment bags for the rest, which would hopefully contain that part of the problem a bit. Today I found a dust mite cover at BJs for my box springs, so now my whole bed plus pillows will be covered. I'd been looking for these there, as that's where I got the other ones too, but I hadn't seen the right size until today. I really couldn't afford it, but I do know it's helped and as far as these things go it's not a big expenditure.
I'm really wiped out after that big day, but I just made roasted cauliflower, which made the smoke alarms in my apartment go off. The overhead fan above the stove doesn't work. Nothing was burning and it didn't even smell like burning, but I got out a little fan and opened the door until I finished. I think it got all the neighbors out though; I apologized for the noise, but they were understanding.
So now, for a quick health round up, I am having continuing allergic reactions, my IBS is acting up, I'm having weakness in the legs still (reminiscent of the kind of weakness I had before my back surgery a couple years ago), and I'm having a hoarse voice too. I think that's it, at least for the main things. I made an appointment with my primary care physician again.
***
On another front, I got a call from Mom tonight. She wanted my address because her aunt wants to give me an my brothers (and other relatives, mom included) some early monies from her will, probably next year some time. I told mom that the reason I hadn't given her my address was because I was sick of them using the money issue manipulatively and I don't want anything from them. If she wants to give me a Christmas gift, fine, but nothing else. I don't care how bad off it gets for me, I've learned too much from this family that getting help from them always has strings attached. I made sure she understood that before I gave her my address. She promised not to give it to my brothers though.
I'd like to say a little more about this family thing and money. Last February, when I had my 50th birthday, mom didn't even call. Now she didn't have my address here so she couldn't have sent me anything if she wanted. But she could at least have called, because my phone number (and e-mail too) were unchanged. She doesn't use e-mail though. I believe that the reason she didn't call was because she uses money in a manipulative way and if there was no way she could send me a gift and she just called, she would not be in a superior powerful position vis a vis me, and she will not accept that in a relationship with me. In a sense, sadly enough, it comes across to me that the only thing she has to offer this family is money. From my standpoint, I'd be glad to get the money issue out of the way. I think I mentioned earlier on this blog, though, that my family doesn't know how to have egalitarian relationships and this is one example of that. I'm sure we'll come across lots of others along the way as I go along in this blog.
The other thing I'd like to mention about that phone call is our brief discussion about vegetables. We discussed the vegetables we were both going to prepare tonight and she mentioned that all of the family likes our vegetables. I mentioned that I didn't think Rich did so much, and she immediately disagreed that it was because of his 2 boys that he couldn't eat different vegetables. I told her that my experience last summer was that he used his sons as a crutch when he himself is actually pretty picky and he can be pretty forceful in his preferences too. She didn't agree with me, but I told her that I personally experienced some of his put downs in this regard and said that I felt sorry for his boys if they experienced some of this kind of thing too, which I am all but 100% sure they do. She said the boys are doing fine and there's no problem there. End of conversation.
I really can't stand my family. Mom's going to do everything in her power, I think to try to bring us all together again, and if it looks at all like I might gain some strength they'll be only too willing to declare me crazy. And remember, when it happens, you heard it here first.
One example of how this could transpire is if I get really sick and mom goes in emergency savior mode and can't contain her desire to have everyone concerned about me, such as by means of furtive prayer requests on my behalf. Then if the family is not involved in saving me from what is clearly something not of my own making they would look bad and that is unacceptable. And to reject their assistance is surely a sign of craziness, because who in their right mind would reject assistance from family members?
***
Even though this is all dealing with the present, when I get back to dealing with the historical events, hopefully these things will help you understand some of what went on earlier.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
110. Allergy Evidence
Seeing is believing right? Well, not always, as it turns out. That is, seeing can be thought of as very subjective, as in "beauty is in the eye of the beholder". And if you happen to be the biblical disciple Thomas, seeing might not be enough either, and you might have to actually touch Jesus' hands in order to believe that it was really Him risen from the dead.
I don't know what your persuasion is or your level of skepticism in general or regarding specific things, but here are a couple images to demonstrate my allergy symptoms.
My face, in the first picture, is fairly puffy. Can you tell? It's puffier now than it was earlier today and my lips are more swollen too. I don't know why it's worse now, though.
The second image shows what remains of the rash on my upper chest. Believe me, it was way more raised than it is now and now it's hardly itchy at all. However, I think that the rash is part of the heat sensitivity that I've had in conjunction with this allergy reaction (to what we don't know). Can you see that it's fairly red and there are little bumps? It was really raised when this first came on, and also spread out farther than it is now.
I'm taking 4 allergy medicines right now and it's still this bad. Can you imagine what it would be like without the medicines? I sure hope we can get to the bottom of this.
In any case, I seem to be feeling better overall since I got back on my allergy medicines a couple days ago. I actually did some browsing in stores today and some pilates exercises this evening. I really have to exercise because my fibromyalgia is getting more achy, which it does when I don't exercise enough. It was hard to exercise while I was feeling so badly being off the allergy medicines. At least I'm encouraged that maybe the weakness is connected with the allergy. My current theory/working hypothesis is that the allergy is causing inflammation and maybe that includes inflammation of nerves or something that is causing the weakness.
Sorry that these pictures are not very attractive (!). These really aren't very flattering pictures of me.
That's it for tonight I think...
~ Meg
I don't know what your persuasion is or your level of skepticism in general or regarding specific things, but here are a couple images to demonstrate my allergy symptoms.
My face, in the first picture, is fairly puffy. Can you tell? It's puffier now than it was earlier today and my lips are more swollen too. I don't know why it's worse now, though.
The second image shows what remains of the rash on my upper chest. Believe me, it was way more raised than it is now and now it's hardly itchy at all. However, I think that the rash is part of the heat sensitivity that I've had in conjunction with this allergy reaction (to what we don't know). Can you see that it's fairly red and there are little bumps? It was really raised when this first came on, and also spread out farther than it is now.
I'm taking 4 allergy medicines right now and it's still this bad. Can you imagine what it would be like without the medicines? I sure hope we can get to the bottom of this.
In any case, I seem to be feeling better overall since I got back on my allergy medicines a couple days ago. I actually did some browsing in stores today and some pilates exercises this evening. I really have to exercise because my fibromyalgia is getting more achy, which it does when I don't exercise enough. It was hard to exercise while I was feeling so badly being off the allergy medicines. At least I'm encouraged that maybe the weakness is connected with the allergy. My current theory/working hypothesis is that the allergy is causing inflammation and maybe that includes inflammation of nerves or something that is causing the weakness.
Sorry that these pictures are not very attractive (!). These really aren't very flattering pictures of me.
That's it for tonight I think...
~ Meg
Monday, September 13, 2010
109. Phew! One Ordeal Survived...
The past few days, being off the ranatadine were pretty bad. My face was swollen, the rash came back (albeit much less than originally, at the onset of all this), and I had very poor heat tolerance, which affected my sleep. I'm saying all this in past tense, although I'm not completely recovered yet.
After my appointment with the allergy doctor this afternoon I could resume all my allergy medicines, plus another one he's prescribing but my insurance doesn't want to cover. So far I've just taken my dinner-time ranatadine, but my facial swelling is already greatly decreased. Maybe tomorrow night I'll be able to sleep with the CPAP again.
The allergy doctor didn't seem sure what caused this, but he suggested that Lyrica, which I take for fibromyalgia, can cause some of these symptoms. He talked about maybe me having to get off of it for a couple weeks to see if that helped my symptoms. Of course, this alarmed me because if I get off Lyrica there are not a lot of options regarding what to replace it with, and most of them I already know I can't take. Savella is the only one we discussed that I haven't tried and don't know how I'd tolerate it and/or how effective it would be for me. Just being off Lyrica for 2 weeks would probably have effects that would go a lot longer than 2 weeks because it very likely would trigger a fibro flare. But I don't know for sure yet, that I'll have to get off the Lyrica.
The other thing that is really troubling is this weakness I've developed in the past couple weeks. I am hoping that if we can get this allergy thing taken care of that will also resolve itself, since it started shortly after the allergy symptoms started. But I haven't heard anyone say that weakness is particularly a symptom of allergy, or fibromyalgia, for that matter. My primary care doctor wanted to x-ray my back to see if there's anything going on there. Just what I need, another health problem. Isn't it enough that I have an allergy problem? Evidently not. Anyway, as I resume my allergy medicine and those symptoms subside, if the weakness doesn't also diminish, then I guess I'll have to accept the real possibility that that's something different going on.
As you can guess, I haven't been able to look at any of my life history materials. It's all I can do to deal with the present, including financial and (car and health) insurance problems too.
I haven't done a lot of cooking either, except to make tortillas for the fajita fillings I'd made and last night I made a recipe for cantaloupe muffins. I tried a new tortilla recipe and I liked it a lot. The muffin recipe was a bit of a disappointment though. I mean they tasted okay but I think there was too much fat content in them, they were hard to get out of the pan, and you couldn't really even taste the cantaloupe in them. Because of the novelty of cantaloupe muffins, I could be tempted to make the recipe again, but there are so many changes I'd make that it would almost be easier to use a different recipe altogether and tweak it to use cantaloupe puree for the liquid. I had some mixed dried peaches and cantaloupe (from last year's dehydrating) so I added those in and that was a nice addition. The tortillas required no tweaking.
~ Meg
After my appointment with the allergy doctor this afternoon I could resume all my allergy medicines, plus another one he's prescribing but my insurance doesn't want to cover. So far I've just taken my dinner-time ranatadine, but my facial swelling is already greatly decreased. Maybe tomorrow night I'll be able to sleep with the CPAP again.
The allergy doctor didn't seem sure what caused this, but he suggested that Lyrica, which I take for fibromyalgia, can cause some of these symptoms. He talked about maybe me having to get off of it for a couple weeks to see if that helped my symptoms. Of course, this alarmed me because if I get off Lyrica there are not a lot of options regarding what to replace it with, and most of them I already know I can't take. Savella is the only one we discussed that I haven't tried and don't know how I'd tolerate it and/or how effective it would be for me. Just being off Lyrica for 2 weeks would probably have effects that would go a lot longer than 2 weeks because it very likely would trigger a fibro flare. But I don't know for sure yet, that I'll have to get off the Lyrica.
The other thing that is really troubling is this weakness I've developed in the past couple weeks. I am hoping that if we can get this allergy thing taken care of that will also resolve itself, since it started shortly after the allergy symptoms started. But I haven't heard anyone say that weakness is particularly a symptom of allergy, or fibromyalgia, for that matter. My primary care doctor wanted to x-ray my back to see if there's anything going on there. Just what I need, another health problem. Isn't it enough that I have an allergy problem? Evidently not. Anyway, as I resume my allergy medicine and those symptoms subside, if the weakness doesn't also diminish, then I guess I'll have to accept the real possibility that that's something different going on.
As you can guess, I haven't been able to look at any of my life history materials. It's all I can do to deal with the present, including financial and (car and health) insurance problems too.
I haven't done a lot of cooking either, except to make tortillas for the fajita fillings I'd made and last night I made a recipe for cantaloupe muffins. I tried a new tortilla recipe and I liked it a lot. The muffin recipe was a bit of a disappointment though. I mean they tasted okay but I think there was too much fat content in them, they were hard to get out of the pan, and you couldn't really even taste the cantaloupe in them. Because of the novelty of cantaloupe muffins, I could be tempted to make the recipe again, but there are so many changes I'd make that it would almost be easier to use a different recipe altogether and tweak it to use cantaloupe puree for the liquid. I had some mixed dried peaches and cantaloupe (from last year's dehydrating) so I added those in and that was a nice addition. The tortillas required no tweaking.
~ Meg
Thursday, September 9, 2010
108. More Health, More Food
I'd rather talk about food than health.
Here are a couple pictures of the pirog from my last post, with some matryoshki (nesting dolls) in one of them.
One of the recipes I used for my corn on the cob was taken from a culinary magazine I used to pick up sometimes when I lived in Austria, but I didn't note the name of the magazine when I cut out the recipe. This recipe is "Mais-Scheibchen auf Dillsahne." Of course, the dill caught my eye immediately, because my dill plant needs using. I had never made, nor eaten cut up corn on the cob, but I found that it really does work pretty well. The corn on the cob is simmered and then cut into 1 to 2 inch pieces and served with a sauce, in this case a dill cream sauce. Using a sharp knife, it was actually pretty easy to cut the corn off the cob piece, and so to have corn on the cob without resorting to it being a finger food. Very nice.
I had recently bought some steak on a 2 for 1 sale, and I wanted to make fajitas, but I decided to try to use things I had on hand, so I used more of the corn, and some other things for the filling and marinated the steak and fried it today. So I'll be freezing that up in portions for meals later on.
I still have one cantaloupe to prepare and I was half thinking to just cut it up and freeze it for use in future smoothies, but I came across a recipe for cantaloupe muffins, which sound intriguing.
I've also been trying to deal with this car insurance thing, because my 6 month premium is due and they raised the rates (across the board), so I'm working with them to figure out how to bring it down, I may have to drive to the agent's office tomorrow because mileage is one of the possibilities, but I'll find out for sure tomorrow. I also need to work with Medicaid regarding some issues, but I've had to put that on a back burner for now as I'm limited on how much I can do at one time.
Regarding health, which is why I'm so limited on how much I can do, I'm going through a bit of a time now that I'm off of all my antihistimine medications. My face is still puffy and my rash appears to be coming back, but it's not bad yet. I have almost 3 days more to go of this though until I can get back on the antihistimines. My weakness is also increasing and I decided to use a cane to go to the doctor today because I'd have a bit of walking to do between the car and the office. The rheumatologist yesterday said that the weakness I'm having is not from fibromyalgia, but he thinks it's neurological, so he said he'd talk to my neurologist. Today when I saw my primary care doctor (she's now back from her personal leave) and she suggested getting an x-ray of my spine since I have a history of that (had back surgery). We decided to wait and see how things went with the physical therapy and also if I improve again after returning to the antihistimines. I hope it'll just resolve itself after I get over this allergy thing, but I'm sure that the weakness problem is unusual for just allergies.
Today in going over my medicines and supplements with the nurse I remembered that I had some lidoderm patches for use when I have fibromyalgia flares, so I decided to make use of them now since I'm having extra pain in the neck and upper back. It's amazing really how once you get multiple conditions they all feed on each other and limitations are just compounded and magnified. Even my IBS acting up means I have put forth some effort to keep that part of my body functioning okay. On days like today I feel like I'm 80, but I'm really just 50 and when I'm doing okay people usually think I'm much younger than I am. Not today, though.
I must admit that it would be nice to have more of a support network in times like that. It's been nice that people in the church here have asked how I'm doing, either by phone or e-mail, which is nice, especially since they don't know me that well even. But I think too of my nor fairly estranged family. I'd like to call mom, and I know she's going through her issues too, but I'm afraid that it's a bit of a power play where whoever gives in first loses the power battle, and she and my brothers are betting on my just letting things blow over and eventually needing them and giving in, especially about what happened prior to my coming back here. But I've learned that in this family given half a chance and a reason for doing so, they'll quite gladly dredge up things from the past, almost like a kind of emotional blackmail. I don't think in my family (siblings, mom) it's possible to have egalitarian relationships; one person always has to be on top and the other on the losing end of a relationship.
Now I know that ours isn't the only dysfunctional family around, but I want to believe that somewhere out there there are fairly "normal" families. I'm also curious about what psychologists and family counselors have to say about that. I mean, certainly the/a purpose of family counseling is to develop healthy family relationships, so there must be an assumption that it's possible to have a family with healthy relationships. Unless, of course, psychologists just want us to believe that this is possible, when all the while they themselves don't believe that it is. Somehow I find it hard to believe that there is such a professional conspiracy, which means that they must think that it's indeed realistically possible to have healthy functioning families. Okay, all you psychologist types out there, what does a healthy, functioning family look like?
I'm tired, so I'm going to start my bedtime routine. Good night?
~Meg
Here are a couple pictures of the pirog from my last post, with some matryoshki (nesting dolls) in one of them.
One of the recipes I used for my corn on the cob was taken from a culinary magazine I used to pick up sometimes when I lived in Austria, but I didn't note the name of the magazine when I cut out the recipe. This recipe is "Mais-Scheibchen auf Dillsahne." Of course, the dill caught my eye immediately, because my dill plant needs using. I had never made, nor eaten cut up corn on the cob, but I found that it really does work pretty well. The corn on the cob is simmered and then cut into 1 to 2 inch pieces and served with a sauce, in this case a dill cream sauce. Using a sharp knife, it was actually pretty easy to cut the corn off the cob piece, and so to have corn on the cob without resorting to it being a finger food. Very nice.
I had recently bought some steak on a 2 for 1 sale, and I wanted to make fajitas, but I decided to try to use things I had on hand, so I used more of the corn, and some other things for the filling and marinated the steak and fried it today. So I'll be freezing that up in portions for meals later on.
I still have one cantaloupe to prepare and I was half thinking to just cut it up and freeze it for use in future smoothies, but I came across a recipe for cantaloupe muffins, which sound intriguing.
I've also been trying to deal with this car insurance thing, because my 6 month premium is due and they raised the rates (across the board), so I'm working with them to figure out how to bring it down, I may have to drive to the agent's office tomorrow because mileage is one of the possibilities, but I'll find out for sure tomorrow. I also need to work with Medicaid regarding some issues, but I've had to put that on a back burner for now as I'm limited on how much I can do at one time.
Regarding health, which is why I'm so limited on how much I can do, I'm going through a bit of a time now that I'm off of all my antihistimine medications. My face is still puffy and my rash appears to be coming back, but it's not bad yet. I have almost 3 days more to go of this though until I can get back on the antihistimines. My weakness is also increasing and I decided to use a cane to go to the doctor today because I'd have a bit of walking to do between the car and the office. The rheumatologist yesterday said that the weakness I'm having is not from fibromyalgia, but he thinks it's neurological, so he said he'd talk to my neurologist. Today when I saw my primary care doctor (she's now back from her personal leave) and she suggested getting an x-ray of my spine since I have a history of that (had back surgery). We decided to wait and see how things went with the physical therapy and also if I improve again after returning to the antihistimines. I hope it'll just resolve itself after I get over this allergy thing, but I'm sure that the weakness problem is unusual for just allergies.
Today in going over my medicines and supplements with the nurse I remembered that I had some lidoderm patches for use when I have fibromyalgia flares, so I decided to make use of them now since I'm having extra pain in the neck and upper back. It's amazing really how once you get multiple conditions they all feed on each other and limitations are just compounded and magnified. Even my IBS acting up means I have put forth some effort to keep that part of my body functioning okay. On days like today I feel like I'm 80, but I'm really just 50 and when I'm doing okay people usually think I'm much younger than I am. Not today, though.
I must admit that it would be nice to have more of a support network in times like that. It's been nice that people in the church here have asked how I'm doing, either by phone or e-mail, which is nice, especially since they don't know me that well even. But I think too of my nor fairly estranged family. I'd like to call mom, and I know she's going through her issues too, but I'm afraid that it's a bit of a power play where whoever gives in first loses the power battle, and she and my brothers are betting on my just letting things blow over and eventually needing them and giving in, especially about what happened prior to my coming back here. But I've learned that in this family given half a chance and a reason for doing so, they'll quite gladly dredge up things from the past, almost like a kind of emotional blackmail. I don't think in my family (siblings, mom) it's possible to have egalitarian relationships; one person always has to be on top and the other on the losing end of a relationship.
Now I know that ours isn't the only dysfunctional family around, but I want to believe that somewhere out there there are fairly "normal" families. I'm also curious about what psychologists and family counselors have to say about that. I mean, certainly the/a purpose of family counseling is to develop healthy family relationships, so there must be an assumption that it's possible to have a family with healthy relationships. Unless, of course, psychologists just want us to believe that this is possible, when all the while they themselves don't believe that it is. Somehow I find it hard to believe that there is such a professional conspiracy, which means that they must think that it's indeed realistically possible to have healthy functioning families. Okay, all you psychologist types out there, what does a healthy, functioning family look like?
I'm tired, so I'm going to start my bedtime routine. Good night?
~Meg
Monday, September 6, 2010
107. Keeping Busy
I skipped a couple days because 1) I didn't start this blog to be a current events diary and 2) I've been busy ("busy" by my standards, considering my health limitations).
I still have the swollen face and my jaw, neck and upper back have been giving me a lot of pain. I suspect it's the fibromyalgia reacting to this new health condition, whatever it is. I tried a few different things and I was surprised to find out that the most effective treatment for this new pain was wearing this halter-like contraption that pulls your shoulders back gently (for good posture). So I've been wearing that pretty much all the time I'm up and about (except for in the shower or using the stimulator). I wish all ailments had such simple remedies, although this isn't exactly a remedy because it doesn't cure anything.
Anyway, as is my habit, in the face of adversity I try to find something constructive to keep me busy. So I've been busy, in a self-imposed way.
Saturday was my usual laundry day (I have to religiously keep to this for my dust mite control efforts). I often add extra things to my laundry regime, such as last week washing the shower curtain. This week it was cleaning all the dust mite control covers over my pillow cases and mattress (I don't have one for the box springs, although I should).
This was a major undertaking for me, especially the mattress part, and I have a memory foam topper too. So I had the matterss and the topper off the box springs and did my vacuum and spray routine on as much of their surfaces as I could do (I didn't take the box springs off to do the underside of it). How that works is you vacuum a surface and then spray it with a dust mite spray (either one that kills the dust mites or one that their particles cling to which aids in vacuuming them up). After spraying you have to wait for the surface to dry and then vacuum it again. Considering I couldn't do all the surfaces at once, this took a lot of time, not to mention the drain on my strength and energy. I was up too late doing this and so I didn't make it to church the next morning.
Yesterday and today I've been busy cooking, although yesterday I also ironed and I need to take care of some business things today too. Yesterday I baked a corn pie and also made canteloupe gelato, that I think is actually more like canteloupe sorbet, but it's very good in either case. The corn pie also came out well, and allowed me to use some dill from my garden too. I started on the cake part for the cake balls too.
Today I baked the cake and also made the plum filling for the cake balls. I only needed half of the plum filling, though, so I froze the rest for some other use later on. Right now the cake balls are mostly in the freezer, although some couldn't fit on the tray and are in the fridge. I still need to coat them in candy coating. But I also made a mushroom pirog, which I want to share with you here.
The bottom picture is from the cover of the recipe book. According to the title page and the page facing it, this is book 1 of a 6 book set titled "Encyclopedia of Home Economics". This book is titled "Potatoes and Mushrooms: 1000 Culinary Recipes". I don't have the other 5 books, and I don't know what they are.
The last 2 or 3 years I was in Russia I did a fair amount of mushroom picking, and I'll talk about that more when I get to that period of my life in the chronology, so mushrooms have a bit of significance to me. But even growing up we picked shaggy manes in British Columbia when we visited my mom's family.
The beginning of the mushroom part of this book gives a listing of several different mushroom types. One time I went mushroom picking there was a lady with us who seemed to know every single mushroom we came across, including some I'd never seen before, so this list is very incomplete. The ones we mostly found, though were "beliye gribi" (a prized type), "maslyata", "volnushki" and "gruzdi". The maslyata were best in soups or sauteed with mushrooms.
Now here in the States it seems like we're impoverished regarding mushroom selection (and also berries too). I just used regular button mushrooms for my pirog, but I'm sure beliye gribi would have ramped up the yum factor quite a bit. Nevertheless, given my mushroom disadvantage, I think I came out with a pretty decent pirog that my Russian friends would approve of.
Here's the recipe in English (the Russian version is in the picture above):
Pirog with Fresh Mushrooms
Mix the yeast dough, letting it rise twice. Then roll it out no thicker than 1 cm. In the center put the fresh mushroom filling, which has been fried with onion and seasoned with salt and pepper. Fold one end of the dough over and seal it. Brush the dough with an egg wash, put it in a warm place [to rise] and then bake in the preheated oven.
For the filling:
300 g. fresh mushrooms
1 to 2 onions
3 to 4 tablespoons of vegetable oil or butter
salt and pepper, to taste
For the dough:
1/2 cup warm milk
15 to 20 g. yeast
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 to 2 eggs
100 to 200 g. margarine
2 to 3 cups flour
Here's my version of the instructions:
I used 1 large onion and somewhat more mushrooms than called for, and I ground them together in a meat grinder. I used some excess liquid created in this process to mix with powdered milk and used that to mix with the yeast instead of the plain warm milk.
I did not saute the mushroom filling, but I did drain it from excess liquid. I wanted it moist, but not too wet. I probably used about 1 teaspoon salt and 1/4 teaspoon of pepper.
For the dough, I mixed the warm (ca. 110 degrees F) mushroom liquid/dry milk with the yeast (1 packet) and the salt, along with about 1 teaspoon sugar (to help activate the yeast) and let them sit for about 15 minutes to begin the yeast activation process. I also added a bit of thyme and oregano from my garden to the batter after the yeast fermented.
Then I mixed in 1 egg and 1/3 cup olive oil with the whisk attachment to my electric hand mixer. I continued to use the whisk while adding the flour until the dough became too thick, at which time I switched to using a wooden spoon. I used about 2 1/2 cups of flour altogether.
I started kneading it a bit, but it didn't seem to need it. I ended with a fairly soft, but not sticky, dough. I divided the dough in 2 and rolled them both out. The first one I put on a 10 1/2" by 15" rimmed pan and I covered them both with clean clothes and let them rise for about 40 minutes. The dough was pretty easy to work with, and I would just spread it with my fingers to reach to the edges and even out the thickness. This size pan seems to be about right.
After letting the dough rise I spread the filling up to within about an inch of the edges and then laid the other piece of rolled out dough on top. I pinched the edges to seal them, and they stayed sealed pretty easily (which is more than can be said for a lot of doughs!).
I baked the pirog at 375 degrees F for 20 minutes and it came out just perfect!
One thing I will say about the pan is that the pan I chose has a sort of ridged bottom which allows for better baking of bottom crusts in this kind of situation.
I've found that Russian cook books leave a lot of steps to the user, assuming that they have knowledge of how to do the details. So I guess Russian cooks are more astute, considering the great detail in American cookbooks.
Anyway, this came out very well and if you want to try it, this is for sure a genuine Russian recipe. One of my Russian friends made one like this but with a freshwater salmon from Lake Baikal (I lived about an hour or so flight north of Lake Baikal). She just put salmon pieces and slices of onion in it. She may have seasoned it, though, but that was it. It didn't need anything else, though, as it was very yummy as it was. So this would be another adaptation you could make with this recipe.
***
That's all for now. I have a lot of dishes to do, I'd like to finish the cake balls, I need to freeze some of this food I'm making, and I need to look at some business things (bills and the like). My finances are not very good. After I pay my car insurance, I have $30 dollars to carry me through the month and I still have other bills. It's really discouraging, but I try not to think about it too much because that's the kind of thing that could give me a fibro flare. I just do what I can, which ends out being just sort of surviving, hanging on by a thread. But I am surviving and if nothing else, I'm going to eat well.
I'm sure your Labor Day weekend was more interesting than mine, but I've learned to take pleasure in the little things as well as the more momentous ones.
~ Meg
I still have the swollen face and my jaw, neck and upper back have been giving me a lot of pain. I suspect it's the fibromyalgia reacting to this new health condition, whatever it is. I tried a few different things and I was surprised to find out that the most effective treatment for this new pain was wearing this halter-like contraption that pulls your shoulders back gently (for good posture). So I've been wearing that pretty much all the time I'm up and about (except for in the shower or using the stimulator). I wish all ailments had such simple remedies, although this isn't exactly a remedy because it doesn't cure anything.
Anyway, as is my habit, in the face of adversity I try to find something constructive to keep me busy. So I've been busy, in a self-imposed way.
Saturday was my usual laundry day (I have to religiously keep to this for my dust mite control efforts). I often add extra things to my laundry regime, such as last week washing the shower curtain. This week it was cleaning all the dust mite control covers over my pillow cases and mattress (I don't have one for the box springs, although I should).
This was a major undertaking for me, especially the mattress part, and I have a memory foam topper too. So I had the matterss and the topper off the box springs and did my vacuum and spray routine on as much of their surfaces as I could do (I didn't take the box springs off to do the underside of it). How that works is you vacuum a surface and then spray it with a dust mite spray (either one that kills the dust mites or one that their particles cling to which aids in vacuuming them up). After spraying you have to wait for the surface to dry and then vacuum it again. Considering I couldn't do all the surfaces at once, this took a lot of time, not to mention the drain on my strength and energy. I was up too late doing this and so I didn't make it to church the next morning.
Yesterday and today I've been busy cooking, although yesterday I also ironed and I need to take care of some business things today too. Yesterday I baked a corn pie and also made canteloupe gelato, that I think is actually more like canteloupe sorbet, but it's very good in either case. The corn pie also came out well, and allowed me to use some dill from my garden too. I started on the cake part for the cake balls too.
Today I baked the cake and also made the plum filling for the cake balls. I only needed half of the plum filling, though, so I froze the rest for some other use later on. Right now the cake balls are mostly in the freezer, although some couldn't fit on the tray and are in the fridge. I still need to coat them in candy coating. But I also made a mushroom pirog, which I want to share with you here.
The bottom picture is from the cover of the recipe book. According to the title page and the page facing it, this is book 1 of a 6 book set titled "Encyclopedia of Home Economics". This book is titled "Potatoes and Mushrooms: 1000 Culinary Recipes". I don't have the other 5 books, and I don't know what they are.
The last 2 or 3 years I was in Russia I did a fair amount of mushroom picking, and I'll talk about that more when I get to that period of my life in the chronology, so mushrooms have a bit of significance to me. But even growing up we picked shaggy manes in British Columbia when we visited my mom's family.
The beginning of the mushroom part of this book gives a listing of several different mushroom types. One time I went mushroom picking there was a lady with us who seemed to know every single mushroom we came across, including some I'd never seen before, so this list is very incomplete. The ones we mostly found, though were "beliye gribi" (a prized type), "maslyata", "volnushki" and "gruzdi". The maslyata were best in soups or sauteed with mushrooms.
Now here in the States it seems like we're impoverished regarding mushroom selection (and also berries too). I just used regular button mushrooms for my pirog, but I'm sure beliye gribi would have ramped up the yum factor quite a bit. Nevertheless, given my mushroom disadvantage, I think I came out with a pretty decent pirog that my Russian friends would approve of.
Here's the recipe in English (the Russian version is in the picture above):
Pirog with Fresh Mushrooms
Mix the yeast dough, letting it rise twice. Then roll it out no thicker than 1 cm. In the center put the fresh mushroom filling, which has been fried with onion and seasoned with salt and pepper. Fold one end of the dough over and seal it. Brush the dough with an egg wash, put it in a warm place [to rise] and then bake in the preheated oven.
For the filling:
300 g. fresh mushrooms
1 to 2 onions
3 to 4 tablespoons of vegetable oil or butter
salt and pepper, to taste
For the dough:
1/2 cup warm milk
15 to 20 g. yeast
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 to 2 eggs
100 to 200 g. margarine
2 to 3 cups flour
Here's my version of the instructions:
I used 1 large onion and somewhat more mushrooms than called for, and I ground them together in a meat grinder. I used some excess liquid created in this process to mix with powdered milk and used that to mix with the yeast instead of the plain warm milk.
I did not saute the mushroom filling, but I did drain it from excess liquid. I wanted it moist, but not too wet. I probably used about 1 teaspoon salt and 1/4 teaspoon of pepper.
For the dough, I mixed the warm (ca. 110 degrees F) mushroom liquid/dry milk with the yeast (1 packet) and the salt, along with about 1 teaspoon sugar (to help activate the yeast) and let them sit for about 15 minutes to begin the yeast activation process. I also added a bit of thyme and oregano from my garden to the batter after the yeast fermented.
Then I mixed in 1 egg and 1/3 cup olive oil with the whisk attachment to my electric hand mixer. I continued to use the whisk while adding the flour until the dough became too thick, at which time I switched to using a wooden spoon. I used about 2 1/2 cups of flour altogether.
I started kneading it a bit, but it didn't seem to need it. I ended with a fairly soft, but not sticky, dough. I divided the dough in 2 and rolled them both out. The first one I put on a 10 1/2" by 15" rimmed pan and I covered them both with clean clothes and let them rise for about 40 minutes. The dough was pretty easy to work with, and I would just spread it with my fingers to reach to the edges and even out the thickness. This size pan seems to be about right.
After letting the dough rise I spread the filling up to within about an inch of the edges and then laid the other piece of rolled out dough on top. I pinched the edges to seal them, and they stayed sealed pretty easily (which is more than can be said for a lot of doughs!).
I baked the pirog at 375 degrees F for 20 minutes and it came out just perfect!
One thing I will say about the pan is that the pan I chose has a sort of ridged bottom which allows for better baking of bottom crusts in this kind of situation.
I've found that Russian cook books leave a lot of steps to the user, assuming that they have knowledge of how to do the details. So I guess Russian cooks are more astute, considering the great detail in American cookbooks.
Anyway, this came out very well and if you want to try it, this is for sure a genuine Russian recipe. One of my Russian friends made one like this but with a freshwater salmon from Lake Baikal (I lived about an hour or so flight north of Lake Baikal). She just put salmon pieces and slices of onion in it. She may have seasoned it, though, but that was it. It didn't need anything else, though, as it was very yummy as it was. So this would be another adaptation you could make with this recipe.
***
That's all for now. I have a lot of dishes to do, I'd like to finish the cake balls, I need to freeze some of this food I'm making, and I need to look at some business things (bills and the like). My finances are not very good. After I pay my car insurance, I have $30 dollars to carry me through the month and I still have other bills. It's really discouraging, but I try not to think about it too much because that's the kind of thing that could give me a fibro flare. I just do what I can, which ends out being just sort of surviving, hanging on by a thread. But I am surviving and if nothing else, I'm going to eat well.
I'm sure your Labor Day weekend was more interesting than mine, but I've learned to take pleasure in the little things as well as the more momentous ones.
~ Meg
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