Okay, I think I'm about ready to return to discussing the articles again. But first an update on the present situation.
First of all, I'm leaning towards giving up on the short sale offer, which means I'll lose the deposit, which at least is much less than what the sellers initially requested. It turns out that there's a unit at the complex I've decided on that I haven't seen yet, is much less than what others are asking and looks like it will need less work to prepare to move in. For example, it looks like the kitchen cabinets are new (or at least not the original ones in the building, the appliances are newer and also there is all tile floor (I can't have carpet because of the dust mite allergy). So I'm going to see it tomorrow afternoon. Since I'm a cash buyer this could go pretty quickly, so it's possible I'll be interrupted again to get the place fixed up and moved in. (The reason I might be giving up on the short-sale unit is that the bank shouldn't be taking this long for a "pre-approved" short-sale, which is how this unit was advertised. I can't live where I am indefinitely because I no longer meet their requirements, and there's been no evidence for a month now that the bank is doing anything about my offer.)
My health still isn't that great although I'm walking much better - just using a cane when I go out now, instead of a walker. And to get the mail I can even go without the walker. However, the downside is that as my mobility has improved and I'm moving around more my pain has increased in my back. So whereas I had lowered my tramadol, the past few days I've been thinking I may need to increase it again. My prescription is for 40 mg 4 times a day, but I've just been taking it 3 times a day the past 3 weeks or so. I really do try to keep my pain medicine as low as possible and I also try to look for non-medicinal means to manage my pain. Since I have fibromyalgia this is an ongoing effort, irregardless of what might be happening or not happening in my spine.
My latest thing is focusing on Christmas decorations for my new place. This is sort of a conscious compensation for the pain I've felt in recent years from being cut off from my family for holiday celebrations. A couple years ago, when I was living up north with my brother I put on a Thanksgiving dinner and also prepared a lot of Christmas goodies... too much really. But no one ever expressed any concern for how I felt about being left out of Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter celebrations, and by no one, I include my parents. No one ever thought about me or how I felt at all. I bout an artificial Christmas tree and beneath it I'm going to put the large creche I bought from Quelle (the German catalog company) when I was living in Siberia. (I bought a bunch of stuff from Quelle while in Russia, such as the really great sewing machine that I still use with a quite hefty electrical converter and also some baby things such as a car seat.) I'm purposely putting the creche under the tree because it's not like I expect any presents or anything.
I told my cousins in Canada (on mom's side of the family) more details about mom and her death. I left it up to them as to whether they should till their mom any of it. I'd like to talk more to mom's aunt that she was so close to, but I don't want to upset her so I still have to decide what kinds of things I might want to tell her. When I told my cousin in Canada and explained how sick I was of secrecy (which should be no surprise to you if you've been reading this blog at all!) and she agreed at least about the kinds of things I was telling her.
Then I remembered one day that one of the couples I'd called to inform about mom's death had said that I could call any time if I needed someone to talk to. These people had been our pastor (and wife) when I was in junior high - in my early teens - and had left and the husband got his doctorate in psychology and had a nonprofit practice for many years. They're retired now, but my parents had supported them when they were in their counseling ministry and I had spent one night with them on a deputation trip before going to Vienna in the '80 too. I e-mailed them with the details about what had happened in the recent years and my concerns. I chose to e-mail them rather than phone because I thought I could better explain everything that way. They responded that they were shocked and had company but would get in touch with me more after their company left.
I keep trying to think of some kind of work I could do considering my
health limitations. It would be nice if my writing at some point could
bring in a little income. But I want to continue with my writing here
in any case.
Maybe later this evening I'll start back in on my journal comments. But for now I'll just end here.
